Comments for Prose Appreciation Blog http://www.proseappreciation.com the art of the sentence Fri, 21 Nov 2008 12:11:15 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.2.1 Comment on “…steele to open the spleene…” by Jonathan http://www.proseappreciation.com/2007/07/31/steele-to-open-the-spleene/#comment-6 Jonathan Thu, 02 Aug 2007 21:43:12 +0000 http://www.proseappreciation.com/2007/07/31/steele-to-open-the-spleene/#comment-6 ". . . if you’ve already spent time driving to the store or thinking up a high-octane verb, bring home as many victuals as the trunk of your sentence can hold." Major props. “. . . if you’ve already spent time driving to the store or thinking up a high-octane verb, bring home as many victuals as the trunk of your sentence can hold.”

Major props.

]]> Comment on “And use it he did.” by Jonathan http://www.proseappreciation.com/2007/07/26/%e2%80%9cand-use-it-he-did%e2%80%9d/#comment-5 Jonathan Thu, 02 Aug 2007 21:41:08 +0000 http://www.proseappreciation.com/2007/07/26/%e2%80%9cand-use-it-he-did%e2%80%9d/#comment-5 Not knowing the full context I can't say whether the last sentence contains completely new information. If it does, it is a move that I enjoy at times: the sudden shift in gravity in an already-grave moment. We <i>thought</i> the beheading was the last word, the worst part. "And at seven a.m. unless a miracle occurs, that gallows will be used to separate the soul of Earl Williams from his body" could have been the last sentence of the scene. Instead, that beginning "And" puts it in parallel with the next, the two "And"s both speeding the passage along and reinforcing the sense of necessary connection, as you noted. We didn't expect the wife, but all in a moment our attention is shifted to her, and we are hit with the full weight of the event's significance to her. So long as it does not seem unreasonable, hackneyed, it is always fun when the dramatic payoff comes from an unexpected source. I am going to guess that the excerpt either ends right there, or the subject of Mollie's friendless life is, at least, not fleshed out in the rest. It would take more turns, executed in efficient sentences, to avoid anticlimax. Not knowing the full context I can’t say whether the last sentence contains completely new information. If it does, it is a move that I enjoy at times: the sudden shift in gravity in an already-grave moment. We thought the beheading was the last word, the worst part. “And at seven a.m. unless a miracle occurs, that gallows will be used to separate the soul of Earl Williams from his body” could have been the last sentence of the scene. Instead, that beginning “And” puts it in parallel with the next, the two “And”s both speeding the passage along and reinforcing the sense of necessary connection, as you noted.

We didn’t expect the wife, but all in a moment our attention is shifted to her, and we are hit with the full weight of the event’s significance to her. So long as it does not seem unreasonable, hackneyed, it is always fun when the dramatic payoff comes from an unexpected source.

I am going to guess that the excerpt either ends right there, or the subject of Mollie’s friendless life is, at least, not fleshed out in the rest. It would take more turns, executed in efficient sentences, to avoid anticlimax.

]]> Comment on “But he didn’t.” by Eisler http://www.proseappreciation.com/2007/07/09/but-he-didnt/#comment-4 Eisler Tue, 31 Jul 2007 05:21:54 +0000 http://www.proseappreciation.com/2007/07/09/but-he-didnt/#comment-4 Well played. The ability to manipulate the complementary and paradoxical skills of the short and the long may be one the most powerful skills of a writer. There's something almost physical about it- the ability to grasp the eye, to maintain tension, for an extended period (to build a bridge of words, as it were), or to suddenly but intensely evoke an effect (a linguistic explosion)- construction and demolition, as it were. As another example of this contrast, I would recommend Kafka's Imperial Message, the second story here (sorry about the silly font, but this was the first correct translation (Muir) I found)- http://family.knick.net/thecastle/law.htm Kafka's particular expertise is the extended paragraph; see 'A Country Doctor'. Well played. The ability to manipulate the complementary and paradoxical skills of the short and the long may be one the most powerful skills of a writer. There’s something almost physical about it- the ability to grasp the eye, to maintain tension, for an extended period (to build a bridge of words, as it were), or to suddenly but intensely evoke an effect (a linguistic explosion)- construction and demolition, as it were.

As another example of this contrast, I would recommend Kafka’s Imperial Message, the second story here (sorry about the silly font, but this was the first correct translation (Muir) I found)-

http://family.knick.net/thecastle/law.htm

Kafka’s particular expertise is the extended paragraph; see ‘A Country Doctor’.

]]> Comment on Prose Appreciation Blog by Melissa http://www.proseappreciation.com/2007/07/05/hello-world/#comment-3 Melissa Sat, 21 Jul 2007 14:56:13 +0000 http://www.proseappreciation.com/2007/07/05/hello-world/#comment-3 For a sentence to be powerful I think firstly a writer has to express something true in its essence. Then, the words themselves need to line up in a way which is pleasing to the eye and the ear. The more the words appeal to the five senses the better. And bravery, bravery is HUGE with me--an author who says something courageous which I've thought and been afraid to express, or which I've thought but believed myself to be alone in experiencing--courageous text always takes my breath away. So for me, I'd come up with brave, true ideas expressed with beauty. If you are seeking to understand the mechanical structure of a good sentence, that's something different. For a sentence to be powerful I think firstly a writer has to express something true in its essence. Then, the words themselves need to line up in a way which is pleasing to the eye and the ear. The more the words appeal to the five senses the better. And bravery, bravery is HUGE with me–an author who says something courageous which I’ve thought and been afraid to express, or which I’ve thought but believed myself to be alone in experiencing–courageous text always takes my breath away. So for me, I’d come up with brave, true ideas expressed with beauty. If you are seeking to understand the mechanical structure of a good sentence, that’s something different.

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